Ueno Park
by Angrybee
Summary: A journalist comes to interview an aging and forgotten pop star. But, the pop star in question is more interested in Ueno Park.


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Ueno Park

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Hm? What's that? Oh, yes, right. I remember now. Please, come in, make yourself comfortable.

No! Not that chair. Don't sit -there-! What are you thinking? Are you crazy? Yes. The divan would be fine. Just move all those pillows out of the way and take a seat.

Phew. You...gave me a scare. I'm sorry for yelling. It's just that no one has sat in that chair since...

Would you like tea? I could call for someone to bring us tea. Though, I really still prefer juice. Cranberry. No, you can't really get strawberry juice. And, for this, I am glad. I'm sick to fucking death of strawberries. Ozzy Osborne had his bats, and I had my damn strawberries, didn't I? Believe me, you'd get tired of them, too.

Me? Oh, I was just looking out this window. It's the best view, you know? All the windows in this penthouse face Ueno Park, but from here you can see over the trees better. I wish I had my binoculars. It's fabulous in the springtime, with the various blossoms raining down from the trees onto the lake, each petal like a tiny ice skater, twirling on rippling glass. In the summer, there are kites of every color, soaring through the sky, dipping and jumping with the mere pull of a string. Autumn brings orange and crimson hues, like the whole park is a warm fireplace at the center of the city. But, it's winter when... Winter is the season which holds me captive. I find myself here, at this window, more and more.

Was I...rambling? I'm sorry. Oh look, here's the tea. Enough about Ueno Park. Please, enjoy the tea. Let it warm you. You look cold. Did you come far? All the way from Sendai, is that right?

Yes. I knew he was from Sendai. Sakuma-san's childhood home? You have a picture? Yes, I would like to see it.

This is nice. I can almost imagine him living in a place like this. A very normal place, with very loving parents. I can't imagine his childhood was anything but happy. So happy, he spent much of his life trying to give that joy to those in need of it as an almost guilty payment for how deeply he had been blessed. Or something like that. Who knows, really?

Oh, I have some pictures, too. I brought them out when you called last week. Let's see, they're around here somewhere. Aha! Here they are. Look here, crayon marks. I'm not sure if they were Ryuichi's or my daughter's. Either is probably equally as likely.

Here we go. This one here is Fujisaki's surprise birthday party. Twenty years old, and already an old man. Look at him. You'd think he was just about ready to kill me. But, at least he loosened up enough to smash my face in the cake. Sure, I was furious at the time. I'd spent all night baking, but, now that I think about it, it was one of the few spontaneous things I ever saw him do.

That's Ryuichi in the background...laughing. I was so embarrassed.

And these pages have Hiro and Ayaka's wedding. I cried and cried, I cried so hard that my nose was sore for days from blowing it on the expensive napkins at the reception. Oh, no, nothing like that. I was just so happy for him, so terribly happy. My best friend finding love. It still chokes me up with utter joy.

And there's Ryuichi in the background...singing. Lovely song. He composed it just for the wedding, and then never sang it again. Ryuichi told me that it was 'A Song Only for a Day'. Somehow, he was right. I tried to sing it once, and it just wouldn't coalesce into music. Sounded like someone had stepped on a mouse when I tried to sing it.

Let's see. Oh. Now look at this. Can you believe Tsukiko was ever so tiny? And look at Yuki, he's actually smiling in this one. A little. Well, if you knew him, then you would peg that for a smile. This is the 'Welcome Home' party we had the day after her adoption. Everyone came, even Aizawa Taki, can you believe that? I was so worried he was going to abduct my daughter, I don't think I let her out of my arms the entire night.

And here's Ryuichi, in the background, dressed in that Kumagoro outfit, waving little flags he'd made from construction paper. That man... Every joy someone else felt, every smile we wore... It was as if he had an amplifier in his heart, allowing him to be ten times more happy -for- you than you were for yourself.

Oh? Kumagoro? Yes, I heard it went missing. Yes, I know the rumor about one of his fans finding it and selling it on the internet. I... I'd rather talk about something else, if you please.

Look. Here's the day that Bad Luck was inducted into Japan's 'Pop Culture Hall of Fame'. Same year as Ranma 1/2 and Pocari Sweat. Just look at that outfit I wore. Doesn't cover very much, does it? There was more to it but...

Here's Ryuichi, standing in the wings, with a pair of scissors and the rest of the outfit. I was on the cover of sixteen different magazines wearing that costume. Sixteen. Ryuichi knew exactly what he was doing, even though Sakano-san fainted when he saw me on stage.

Oh, I... I don't think I want to look through these albums anymore. Here, you take them. Look all you want.

The children are sledding today. That's nice, isn't it? Yesterday, the wind and driving snow prevented most people from going to the park. But, it's so clear today. I think the pond might be frozen over. It reminds me of ice skating at Rockefeller Center in New York. Yeah. Yuki took me skating. Well, he took Tsukiko, but she was only two years old. I wanted to go. He knew I wanted to be just like a Hollywood celebrity from all those great 'Christmas In New York' movies. So, taking our daughter ice skating was the excuse he needed to do something to make me happy. That was just his way.

What? What did you ask me? Of all the impertinent, ridiculous, shameful things to say!

Look, you don't know us. I know you think you know everything about my life, about all of our lives, just because you've seen so much on the television, read so much about us in the tabloids. But, Yuki was a kind soul, a loving person.

Sure, we had our problems. Don't all couples have problems? Ours were just magnified by the fact that we were famous. Were. I guess we still are, a little. Not in the way we used to be, though. Those were exciting times, weren't they? But, I think I liked it even better when we were older, when people began to forget our faces, when the world moved past worshipping us. Those were the times when we could live just for us, without the media hounding us. Those were the times when we raised Tsukiko, when we saw her married to that boy of hers, when we held our first grandson.

Yes, that's a picture of Tsukiko's family, right there on the wall. I'd never seen Yuki go crazy like the day that girl had her baby. His hands were shaking. She was such a tiny slip of a girl, Tsukiko was, and the doctors said the birth would probably be hard on her. Yuki and I sat in that waiting room. He never let go of my hand, not once. He was scared, you see. It scared me, too, because Yuki wasn't ever really afraid of anything. But, then, when that doctor came and told us that it was a boy, and that Tsukiko was alright, do you know what Yuki did? He ran right to the window of the nursery and banged on it until they held up our grandson to show him which one it was. All those babies started crying from the racket. All those poor babies. And Yuki standing there, with his forehead pressed to the glass, looking about like he thought that the baby the nurse was holding up was made of pure gold.

No, I won't ever forget it.

That was around the same time as the trial, you know? Around the same time that they finally caught that guy. In fact, I had to go directly from the hospital to testify. The judge kept asking me all sorts of questions, but I was in such a state… I don't think I was a very good witness for the prosecution. They wanted me to tell all about what kind of person Sakuma-san was, and how he'd been getting those death threats for years. But, I just kept thinking about Tsukiko and Yuki, and that new baby boy. I was a horrible witness. I felt like I really let Sakuma-san down.

Sometimes, I think about Sakuma-san. About his brilliance, about how, without him, my life would be completely different. I don't think I'd have started singing. And, if I didn't ever start singing, I would have never met Yuki. Even if, by some chance, I had met Yuki, I don't think I'd have had the courage to keep a hold of him, without Sakuma-san cheering me on from the sideline. He was always giving me hints about how to love, and how to keep on loving, no matter what. That's what people heard in his music, you know? How he loved everyone, how he cared so deeply for all the people around him. Sure, he could act bizarre and aloof, but underneath those masks that he wore, the real Sakuma-san was a surprise gift to the world from some compassionate god.

Hm? Oh, the trial. Well, you don't need me to tell you about that, do you? They never could prove that psychotic fan shot Sakuma-san. Everyone said that he did it, but they never found a gun, or any proof that he'd even been in the park that night. But, really, he'd been sending Sakuma-san death threats for years. He was a real loony, I tell you. I've seen some of those letters, and they are just batshit crazy.

I mean, of course that wacko killed Sakuma-san. Alright? Make sure you write that down.

Yes, I remember the day that it happened. K and Hiro came over to tell me, but I'd already seen it on the news. I couldn't do much more than sit on the couch and cry. I don't think I left that couch for two whole weeks. I'd probably still be on that couch if Yuki hadn't grabbed me, shoved me in the car, and taken me for a drive.

I just didn't understand. I don't think I will ever fully understand. Sakuma-san was such a good person. Why… Why would anyone... Why couldn't he stay just a little longer?

He'd just turned forty that year. I remember, because Noriko had given him an Over-The-Hill party, except everything was pink instead of black. You wouldn't believe the people who came to his party. Movie stars. Rockers from all over the globe. I think even Ben and Jerry of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream were there. It was just an absolutely crazy bash.

After Sakuma-san was shot, you couldn't turn on the TV without hearing a Nittle Grasper retrospective, or seeing another interview with some famous person about how Sakuma Ryuichi inspired them.

I was just so angry, so very angry. Sometimes, when I think about it, I get angry all over again.

Look. Do you see that? The children in the park are having snowball fights. God, that brings me back. Back to the days when Yuki and I used to bring Tsukiko to the park in the winter. She and I would play in the snow. We'd make dozens of snow angels, and he'd sit on the park bench and just read a book. Sometimes, I would catch him watching us over the tops of the pages. He always thought he was so clever, but he wasn't really as clever as he tended to think he was.

Yes, yes, I think I would like to go down to the park. I don't get out so much anymore. Not since Yuki…

Could you get my coat? It's right there on the peg. No! Not that one! That's Yuki's! Mine is the other one! Sheesh. You journalists, you always pick up the wrong things. I've had a mess of trouble with your types over the years. Well, you don't look as bad as some of them, I suppose. At least you haven't tried to shove a camera in my face yet.

Now, then, if you'll just give me a bit of a push. It was your idea to go down, after all. Geez, not so fast, boy. This is a wheelchair, not a racecar.

Yes, the elevator takes a while. It's old, and slow, like me. Well, that's what happens, isn't it? Nothing wrong with it, it's just a part of life.

You know, that's how I first figured out that Yuki and I were getting old. He started driving slower and slower. His eyes were going bad, you know? I think it was from all the time he spent in front of that computer monitor. Those things are horrible for your vision. Of course, no matter how many times I told him he was driving like an old grandpa, he didn't believe me.

Our last trip together was down to Kyoto to see Tatsuha, Yuki's brother. I remember that Tatsuha was so excited because he'd just heard on the news that the psychotic fan, the one who supposedly killed Sakuma-san, had died in a plane crash. Tatsuha said that, as a Buddhist monk, he didn't really believe in hell, but just for that bastard's sake, he was hoping maybe he was wrong.

Tatsuha took it pretty hard when Sakuma-san died. Actually, I think his anger at the whole thing might have helped him through it. He kept track of every little nuance of the investigation. Yuki and I, we were worried that Tatsuha might even try to find that guy after the trial and do something awful to him. But, when we confronted him, he just shook his head and said that it wasn't what Sakuma-san would have wanted him to do. And he said that he was going to work on trying to forgive that guy, even if it took the rest of his life, because he thought Sakuma-san would have liked that better.

I think Tatsuha is still working on it, though. But, he's a good monk, so if anyone can do it, Tatsuha can.

You have to push the button for the lobby, son, or else the elevator won't move.

Well, it wasn't long after that trip when I lost Yuki. Those last few weeks, we must have spent hours and hours just looking through all those books of photographs I have. Yuki always thought I was silly for taking so many pictures of our life together. But, then, he was a writer, and he could remember anything he saw so he could write about it later. It was like he had a camera for a brain. I always loved that about him.

Tsukiko came back from Florida to help me arrange things after Yuki died. I was a bit of a mess, but I did my best, for Yuki's sake. Besides, I'm an old man now, and I can't just fall apart whenever I want. I've got to be strong for my daughter, and for my grandsons, you know? Yuki would have scolded me if I'd just gone to pieces. He'd probably have said something like, "Quit being so noisy. I've finally got some peace and quiet, and here you are messing it all up with your incessant bawling."

Oh! You should see them. Hm? My grandsons, you idiot. Pay attention. The oldest looks like Yuki. I swear it. I know Tsukiko was adopted and all, but that boy still looks like his grandfather. Crazy, huh?

Left. Turn left. Ah, there we go. You know, there used to be more trees in this part of the park twenty years ago. They cut them down to make the park more wheelchair accessible. Back then, I was furious, but now I'm kinda glad.

See that stage over there? Gosh, doesn't it look a wreck? Someone should really restore it, so that it could be used again. I'd like that. Even though I don't really understand the music kids like today, it's still music, and I'm pro-music.

That's right! I can't believe you remember that. You were there? You must have been just a baby back then, huh? They said that our farewell concert was the biggest event ever hosted in Ueno Park. This entire place was just packed with bodies. Girls were running around without shirts, and everyone was dancing and smiling. We had six encores. Six! They wouldn't let us leave the stage. I sang so hard and for so long that my voice was completely gone for two weeks afterwards.

I'm pretty sure that Sakuma-san would have approved.

Go left here, down this path. This part of the park is always so quiet. I've never understood it, really. It has a sort of calmness to it which I always found so very comforting. I wrote the lyrics to all of Bad Luck's best songs right here. And, see, right up there, that's where I first met Yuki. Oh, man. I can still remember it, I can remember him, exactly as he was on that very first day. What a meanie! But, even though he was so cold, I was absolutely taken with him. From that very first instant…

Be careful now. Don't slip. I've cracked my head open more than a few times running down that incline in the winter. It gets icy.

Hm? Oh. Well, there's nothing to say, really. Young man, if you could just go over there and brush the snow off the top of the plaque, I'd really appreciate it. And, I'm sure that Sakuma-san would, too. No, I already know what it says. I was the one who had it installed, after all. "On this spot, Japan's greatest performer took his final bow, and left the stage. The world will forever miss the smile, and the song, of Sakuma Ryuichi."

No, I'm… I'm alright.

Thank you. Yuki always said I should remember to bring a hanky with me when I go out, but I forget. I forget, sometimes.

Well, young man, I hope you got what you were looking for today. I'm actually… Yes, I'm actually glad that people are still writing about Sakuma-san. Try not to focus on his death too much, alright? That's so gruesome. I know it sells magazines, but I hope you'll talk more about Sakuma-san's life than the mystery behind his death. Because, he was… He was the light that made so many lives possible. Especially mine.

And, I think that's how he wanted to be remembered. Young, and alive, and full of talent, shining into the world with and unending song of love.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like a few minutes alone before we go back. Oh, there's a little coffee stand on the other side of the park. Yes, put a lot of milk into mine, I can't stand strong coffee. There you go… Be careful of those kids throwing snowballs. They can be little devils.

Well, Ryuichi, I guess it's just me and you now, huh? It's been a long time, hasn't it? I'm an old man now. Look at me. I've got wrinkles everywhere, even on my hands. I can't really run around in skimpy outfits anymore, can I?

You never did grow old, did you? Well, that's what you wanted, after all, isn't it?

Oh, well, I…

I brought you a friend. He's right here. Ah, uh, no… No, here he is. I had to sew his ear back on a few years ago, but other than that, no injuries.

Yes, I've been taking care of Kumagoro, just like you asked. Of course, you already know it, since you go everywhere he goes, right? Or, was it the other way around? Well, he's a little worse for wear, but no wrinkles. He stays the same, always the same.

We missed you. All of us did. Tohma actually cried at your funeral. I mean, he cried so hard that Mika-san had to take him home. So, you know, don't be too upset if he doesn't come out to visit you as often as you would like. I know you probably already know about Noriko passing away a few years back. Saki-san gave her a lovely service. Ah, I guess if you see Noriko, give her a hug for me.

Ryuichi, I guess I can understand now… Now that Yuki is gone. It's been so hard without him. In your letter, you said that you were alone, and that you couldn't stand it. I didn't understand how someone who was so very loved by the world could ever consider himself to be alone.

I still have your letter. I remember how it was so rainy that day. So rainy. Tsukiko and I played in the puddles, and then Yuki yelled at us for tracking mud into the house. I was mopping the kitchen floor when the courier brought your letter.

That letter… That letter. That was your real voice in that letter, the one you hid from the world when you weren't on stage. I always knew, but you were always so far out of reach. The real you was always kept so locked so far away... But, you were in that letter.

You said that you couldn't stand to grow old, couldn't stand to watch as everyone forgot about you. You couldn't sit by and continue to live as music left you. Fame and youth were all you ever had, and both of those were leaving you, slowly, day by day. You said that you didn't want to become one of those people who once was something, who people talk about in the past tense, even though you're still alive. You never wanted to hear anyone say, "That guy over there…used to be Sakuma Ryuichi."

You never found someone to love, did you? Because you gave all of your love away to anyone who crossed your path. But, you said that you were glad that I had Yuki. As long as I had Yuki, growing old, becoming forgotten, slipping into the annals of music history, would never matter to me. And, you were right. It didn't. I didn't care at all.

Your letter said that you wanted me to be happy, to smile every day, and to remember that this… This life… This love… This world is song. I remembered, Ryuichi. I remembered, and I thank you, I still thank you every single day.

You were my inspiration, my mentor, and my friend.

After I read your letter, I ran and ran and ran. It was raining, but I didn't care. I slipped on that incline, like I always did, and banged up my knee. I was trying to stand up when I heard the gunshot.

I found you right here. Your right arm was curled around Kumagoro. And in your left hand was the gun.

I was so angry, so angry at you. But, I never told anyone. Not a soul. Not even Yuki. I couldn't let you be remembered like that. That would have been too sad. You brought so much joy to everyone, and if they ever knew how lonely and sad you were inside, it would have hurt them too much.

I did just like your letter said to do. I took Kumagoro, and got rid of the gun. When the police questioned me, when they asked if I had any idea who might have killed you, I told them about the death threats you'd been getting from that stalker.

So, I kept it a secret. And, I will keep it a secret until we meet again.

When that time comes, Ryuichi, you won't recognize me. Because I'm old, and wrinkled, and I can't sing anymore. You won't recognize me, because I've lived eighty long and happy years on this earth.

But, I'll bring Kumagoro. And you'll recognize him, won't you? Because, unlike me, you will both stay the same in the memories of those who loved you. Forever young, forever smiling, forever bringing joy.

Oh, look, Ryuichi… Look over there…

The children are making snow angels.

I think I'll wave them over. I've got a little bit of pep left in this old body of mine yet. A last bit of energy that I've been saving for today. This old man will make a snow angel, too. Just one last one. One last time….

To give Yuki a chance to peek at me from wherever he is. He thinks he's clever. He thinks I don't see him watching.

But, I do. I always do. And, I always will.

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The End.


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